Having a miscarriage has to be one of the worst experiences in an expecting mother’s life. Imagine waiting for so long and trying so hard to have a child when suddenly, blood runs down your leg because of circumstances you couldn’t have foreseen.
Experiencing miscarriage as it happens is difficult enough, but the time after that is definitely harder for both the mother and the partner.
During this tumultuous time, you have to pick yourself up even if it seems difficult to do. To help you out, we’ve gathered a list of things that you should do or think about after experiencing miscarriage.
Stop Blaming Yourself
“What did I do wrong?” is usually one of the first thoughts of most women who experience miscarriage. It’s normal to feel guilt when you’re grappling with grief but you have to know that there really are things that you cannot control. Stop blaming yourself for things that are not within your control since this just cultivates a toxic mindset. In turn, this can greatly affect your mental health to the point of depression.
If you really want to stop self-blame, you should go to the doctor and find out the reason of your miscarriage. It might not be easy but at least you get proper closure.
Seek Professional Help
Society has tagged seeking for professional help as a negative thing that only mentally ill patients do; however, this notion has been evolving with time. Going to your psychiatrist is an encouraged activity especially if you feel the need to do this. There’s nothing shameful with asking for help from an expert. Chances are, you’ll be able to accept your miscarriage sooner if you engage in healthy discussions with your doctor.
If you’ve been feeling down for a lengthy time already and you feel like you’re just a few tears away from depression, it might be time to call your doctor.
Whether it’s physical, mental, emotional or spiritual self-care, make sure to tend to your needs. Don’t ignore yourself just because you’re grappling with sadness and regret. Even though miscarriage is a big thing to take in, you have to take care of yourself too. A lot of people think that this is unnecessary but that’s totally wrong. You won’t be able to function properly if there’s a big load on your shoulders.
Go out for a run to get those endorphins pumping. Watch your favorite sitcom and let yourself laugh. Get a massage, eat your favorite meals—do anything you know will boost your self-confidence and self-worth.
Don’t Rush Yourself
Just like grief, miscarriage can have five stages as well: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. There’s no specific time frame for each stage and no one can assure how long you’ll stay in a specific phase because it’s different for everyone. Some people take longer in the denial stage while others jump into anger right away. It’s true that time heals wounds but it still definitely leaves scars. Even if you’ve already accepted it, there will always be a part of you that twinges every time you think about your miscarriage and that’s totally okay.
Allow yourself to move at your own time. You don’t have to follow other people’s examples. As long as you’re taking care of yourself, that’s good enough.
Allow Yourself to Feel
Experiencing miscarriage can give a surge of various emotions. Instead of holding them back, you have to feel them. It’s healthy to cry when you feel like it because pushing back your tears will only worsen your mental state. More than that, bottling up your feelings will probably end up with you exploding sometime soon. To stop that from happening, you have to accept your emotions as they come. Don’t feel embarrassed by it because after all, you’re just human.